Monday, May 31, 2010

Just exhausted...

B2 watching Barney as I'm typing this

Baron sleeping with us (not cute)

I'm exhausted. Little one is small but mighty and is kicking my butt. For me to be typing on here now I had to place him in his exerciser and put the video of Barney on. B2 ( as my friend affectionately calls my son) and I are are attached to the hip. He comes with me to the bathroom and if I even leave out of his eye sight, he screams. I hope that's normal because if not I guess I'll need to put some money away for the shrink now. Either way I think I've come a long way because he wasn't even sleeping in his own space last month and now this month he will LAY in his crib by himself and sleep at night in his pack n' play. I'm just tired and I guess he senses it. When I yawn, he always throws me a smile here and there. I would perfer to get a full night sleep but his smiles do help me get through the day.

Anyway, I'm neurotic. I've come to terms with it so I;m just going to accept who I am. This moment i'm freaking out about my nose. Its bigger than it was before I was pregnant and I don't know what to do. I know I still have wieght to lose but for right now I have what I read to be a "bulbous" nose. If it doesn't go down in a year the only thing I can do for it is Rhinoplasty. I asked Mr (husband) if I could get the procedure and he ignored me and continued talking about ribs. I think i'll cook a nice dinner and ask then.

The second thing I'm worried about is a study that came out by a Psychiatrist that says that have other care givers for your son will teach him to be a womanizer. So does that mean if I go back to work ( when I have baby #2), I would be setting him/her up for failure?

Could a nanny turn your boy into a womanizer?

Just like Mary Poppins, they have a reputation for bringing fun and warmth into children's lives.
But beware - because apparently a nanny's influence could turn your baby boy into a womaniser when he grows up.
A leading psychiatrist says that handing childcare responsibilities to a nanny or au pair can introduce a boy to the idea of 'the other woman'.
Dennis Friedman, a fellow of the Royal College of Psychiatrists, said: 'It creates a division in his mind between the woman he knows to be his natural mother and the woman with whom he has a real hands-on relationship: The woman who bathes himand takes him to the park and with whom he feels completely at one.

As a result, he grows up with the idea that although he will go through all the social and sexual formalities of marriage, he will have at the back of his mind this notion of the other woman, who not only knows but caters for all his needs.'In his book An Unsolicited Gift: Why We Do What We Do, Dr Friedman examines the close bond between mother and child and concludes that how a baby is treated in its first 12 months creates a blueprint for his or her future personality.

In the case of a boy left with a nanny soon after birth, this could lead to him seeking out affairs in adulthood, particularly after he becomes a father herself.
But he claims that a baby girl entrusted to a nanny or au pair is more likely to search for solace elsewhere, using drugs or alcohol to fill the 'vacuum of need'.
Dr Friedman, a specialist in family, marital and parenting issues, said: 'It provides a fulfilment that is an illusion but at least it momentarily compensates for what you haven't' had.'
He believes the love - or lack of it --experienced before a child can walk or talk can affect career choices made years later.
An anaesthetist for instance, may choose to work with the unconscious because he expects his words to fall on deaf ears, just as they did during his childhood. But a barrister may have been brought up to feel that affection and approval are earned not given.
Dr Friedman said: 'The first year or life is terribly important because that is the time that the baby bonds with the mother. She has tremendous influence on what her baby is going to be later on.
'In the real world, people can't be with their babies all the time. But for the first few weeks, and I think six months, the mother should aim for there not being anyone else coming between the two of them.'

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Evil tooth.

Dear tooth,

You've been tormenting my son's gums for a month and half now and this needs to stop. Because of you, I went from getting 6 hours of sleep down to 4. You know he doesn't take a pacifier which means I nurse him around the clock to comfort him from the pain you inflict. My nipples are numb and I know things will only get worse when you finally make your appearance. So cut the crap and cut through the damn gum already so we get this over with.

Thanks again!

Baron's Mom.

Monday, May 10, 2010

"Motherhood is like Albania-- you can't trust the descriptions in the books, you have to go there."-- Marni Jackson

OH hello friend,

Its been so long since I’ve written anything but I’m here now. Yesterday was my first mothers day and I loved it. I didn’t get pampered as much as I would have liked but either way it was nice. I wish it was mothers week so I can neglect my duties for just another couple of days. My mothers day gift was a complete overhaul of our yard. I figure we can’t afford new windows right now so why not buy some flowers instead.
Today though has started off a little rough. Little man and myself were fighting for space in the bed all last night. His nighttime behavior has light a fire under my ass to get his nursery finished so can sleep in his own space. He's determined to sleep like a star fish which makes our king size bed feel like a twin. Its funny how I'm struggling for space in bed and yet my husband sleeps peaceful throughout the night. Then around 11am I was excited about starting a sewing project ( making an apron) and little man just wouldn’t take a nap. I nursed him four times ( my boobs do hurt) before he dozed off. Now I can’t sew but I figured I could go outside enjoy the weather and read. Well for whatever reason the dogs are barking loud and when I go outside they only bark louder. I will go to the only place where true peace can be observed in this place, and that's my bedroom bathroom.

Also did I mention that little man had a runny diaper this morning that had poop on his arm and chest?

The one on the left is the before and the one on the right is the after.

Monday, April 26, 2010

“All marriages are happy. It's the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.” -Raymond Hull

Hello Blog,

Well my weekend was ok but it could always be worse so I'm grateful for that. I can't type long because I have a mess of a house to clean. My mother always told me growing up never keep a mess bigger than a five minute cleanup. Well my house is a straight 90 min mess. Since my husband is reading this, I gotta go.

Tonight for dinner:

Panko Pork Chops

The key to keeping pork chops moist and light is the cooking time and temperature. Once done, a slight, warm tinge of pink color through the center is considered safe to eat. This recipe calls for a ’barbeque sauce’ of sorts, these chops can also be served with Thai Sweet Chili Sauce and Jasmine rice for a complete meal.

For the Pork Chops:

4 boneless pork loin chops, about 1" thick and trimmed of fat
¼ cup vegetable oil
1 cup panko breadcrumbs
¼ cup all-purpose flour
1 egg, slightly beaten
Kosher salt
Freshly ground black pepper

For the Sauce:

½ cup ketchup
2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
1 tablespoon brown sugar

Rinse chops well and pat dry with paper towels. Set aside on large plate.
Place flour, egg, and panko, each in separate shallow bowls. Dip pork chops into flour shaking off excess well and then egg just to coat. Lay chop in panko, pressing to adhere on both sides. Return chop to plate and season both sides with salt and pepper while you coat remaining chops.
In a large non-stick skillet, heat oil over medium heat. Add chops, and cook until golden brown and cooked through, about 6-7 minutes per side. Transfer to a paper-towel-lined plate and allow to rest while you make the sauce.
To make the sauce: In a small bowl, combine ketchup, Worcestershire sauce, and brown sugar, stirring well to combine. Taste for seasoning and adjust as needed. Serve with pork chops on the side.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

"A mother who is really a mother is never free." Honore de Balzac

Hello! It's been a while, yea I know but so many things have been going on making blogging a low priority. Lately I've been struggling with my identity of mother. I feel like I lost myself with that last push on December 20th. I'm no longer the feisty incredibly sexy Sasha, instead I'm Baron's mom or Brandon's wife. Suddenly my needs are placed on the back burner and my world revolves around them. Instead of my husband asking me how my day was, he says "how's Baron?" The same thing being asked by my mother on a daily basis via the telephone. The only variation to "How's Baron?"
is "What's for dinner?".
How do I find peace you may ask? I hide in the bathroom. I sometimes sit there until my legs are numb and I have to grab on to a towel rack for assistance getting up. It's the only place I'm safe from my son who lacks the ability to sit independently much less look for me. My husband usually assumes I'm having stomach problems and stays clear giving me15 minutes of bliss . Oh course retail therapy works and oh boy would Gandhi be disappointed. Since I have yet to regain my confidence to buy clothes, my new hobby is to immerse myself in plants. I know it's a hobby that seems harmless but when you add up five buck here and ten dollars there, you've spent over fifty dollars on something that's purely for aesthetics. My house also looks like a greenhouse now due to this obsession of buying plants!
My question is how do I balance the needs of my family and my own? Will I ever be that person I thought to be feisty mamacita again or am I destined to mom jeans and a minivan forever?

**Note: yesterday I got out for a bit and bought 5 new plants, one being an Orchard.
I really need help people.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

BLAH

Hello blog! Its been a couple of days but I'm back. Well my quest to stop buying junk has commenced. I think Ghandi would be proud. I did purchase two house plants. Since having the baby the body confidence has gone down a bit, so when I want to purchase things its mostly for the house. The house size always stays the same and its rare that I look at something and feel bad about it.

So easter came and went and I cooked a very large Ham for the family. Yay for me but at the same time, I have to eat ham for the rest of this week. BLAH. Tonight we are having....
HAM FRIED RICE

Ingredients

2 teaspoons cooking oil
2 eggs, beaten
2 teaspoons cooking oil
2 cloves garlic, minced
4 cups cold, cooked white rice
1 tablespoon soy sauce
1/4 pound diced cooked ham

Directions

Heat 2 teaspoons oil in a skillet; cook the eggs in the hot oil until set, 3 to 5 minutes. Cool and slice into thin ribbons; set aside.
Heat 2 more teaspoons oil in a large skillet; fry the garlic in the oil, mashing it while frying until light brown and almost crispy, about 5 minutes. Add the rice and mix thoroughly until it is well blended with the garlic. Add the soy sauce and mix again; cook for 2 minutes. Stir the ham into the mixture; cook and stir another 5 minutes. Fold the sliced egg into the mixture and cook until hot, about 3 minutes. Anyway I gotta go. Today is such a blah day.

Friday, April 2, 2010

Paging Dr Drew....

I wonder how Dr. Drew would feel about me going to the store to buy some ingredients for Chili tonight. I know Im trying to overcome my addiction to the store but I gotta eat and so does my husband. Tonight just feels like it should be a Chili night so I figure why not make chili.This makes me think, what would Ghandi do? Maybe I should make a bracelet with the letters..WWGD? To make up for this, I'm going to purge myself of all of the junk and trinkets in the house. I think that should settle the score.

Here are the ingredients:

Ingredients ( serving of four)

13 ounces ground beef
3/4 (16 ounce) can kidney beans, rinsed and drained
3/4 (14.5 ounce) can diced tomatoes, undrained
3/8 (8 ounce) can tomato sauce
3/4 medium onions, chopped
3/8 green pepper, chopped
3/4 clove garlic, minced
2-1/2 teaspoons chili powder
3/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
Shredded Cheddar cheese

I'm serving Corn bread and sweet tea on the said. Can we say MMMM?

In a skillet, cook beef over medium heat until no longer pink; drain. Transfer to a slow cooker. Add the next nine ingredients. Cover and cook on low for 8-10 hours or on high for 4 hours. Garnish individual servings with cheese if desired.
Anyway BABY is waking up..gotta go.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

"To be content is greater than riches, so love what you have." Epictetus

I tired of shopping. I'm tired of buying crap from Target and thinking of well its only a $1, next thing you know my cart is full of things that will serve of no function in my house. I've tried to do my best to kick this addiction but its hard. I know I must do it though, if not for me for my husband. I would hate to see my husband bring crap home so why should I. I just really need to stay out of store altogether. I need to focus on activities that involve free things, such as walking in the park or reading. This quote just stuck out to me because I just really need to be content in what I have.

SO my challenge for the month of April is to become a minimalist. To live like Ghandi did and only get what I need. I know it will be hard which is why I'm happy I splurged on the $6 nail polish today.
I got the list below from one of my favorite blogs:Zen Habits
1. Accumulate little
Gandhi believed in possessing little except the clothes he wore and some utensils for cooking and eating. He used to give away or auction any gift that was ever given to him.
It may not be possible these days for us to get down to less than ten possessions like Gandhi did, but start cutting down to bare basics. Recycle, give things away, or auction your unwanted possessions.
We tend to spend a lot of time and energy looking after our possessions. By having fewer things to possess and look after, your life naturally becomes simpler.
2. Eat simple food
Gandhi never had a problem with being overweight. He followed a strict vegetarian diet and frequently cooked his own simple food, which was locally produced.
He ate this simple food from a small bowl, a reminder to eat moderately, and at the same time he ate mindfully, often accompanied by prayers. So eat simply and moderately.
3. Dress simply.
Gandhi wore simple clothes that conveyed his message.
There is this anecdotal story of the time when Gandhi met the King of Great Britain in London and he wore his simple wrap around cloth. A journalist asked Gandhi, “Mr Gandhi, did you feel under-dressed when you met the King?” Gandhi replied, “The King was wearing enough clothes for both of us!”
Though it may not be practical to weave your own cloth and make your own clothes, you can simplify your life by dressing for comfort, not to impress. A simple hairstyle can shorten your grooming routine. You could even go as far as Gandhi and Leo Babauta and shave your hair off.
4. Lead a simple, stress-free life
Gandhi never got stressed. He meditated daily and spent hours in reflection and prayer.
Though he was a world leader and idolized by millions, he continued to lead a simple life with few distractions and commitments. He would even interrupt his political meetings to go off and play with children.
And despite all his needs being taken care off, Gandhi still insisted on doing his own simple things. He advocated self-sufficiency and simple work. So don’t take life too seriously — remember to take time out to play.
5. Let your life be your message
Though he was a prolific writer and powerful speaker, in private Gandhi spoke very quietly and only when necessary. He was also very punchy and concise in his writing. He preferred to let his life do the talking for him.
By living a simple life, Gandhi was able to devote his life to his chosen higher purpose. He was totally focussed on his commitment to his people and the world. Even if you don’t wish to be another Gandhi, your life will be much simpler and happier by following his life lessons.
“If one has wealth, it does not mean that it should be thrown away and wife and children should be turned out of doors. It simply means that one must give up attachment of these things!” ~Gandhi
note: the author of this article makes a point to “take up the 100 thing challenge and see if you can get down to owning less than 100 or even less than 50 things.” on his list was a “minimalistic desk”.

Well good bye Gap and target. See you in MAY :(

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Its my birthday!

YAY its my Birthday! Any other year I would have woken my n

ow husband wondering where the gifts are. This year though, I was very content to wake up with the sound of the two of them ( son and husband) playing in living room. My son was giggling as the songs on the baby Einstein played. Man what a difference a year makes.

Anyway...later folks!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Welcome to motherhood

Its been a while since I've posted something new on here and I'm sorry. I'm a new mom and while I think I have everything covered, I still get easily distracted with the free time my son does allot me. Anyway, my topic for today will be about being a new mother. Its harder than it looks. I always took little things for granted such as being to leave the house to go to the store at a drop of a dime. Now if I want to leave and go to the store, I have to pack like I'm going on a three day vacation. Your confidence also goes down when you become a first time mom. Not that I was ever a person that said F*uk the world, but I was also never one to agree with the masses either. Now it seems like I fall victim to the advice of every old woman that crosses my path. I have to hear things like he has the hiccups because he is growing to he has it because I burped him improperly. I had one woman said she noticed his head was swollen and for me to contact the doctor immediately. He was only 1 week old and I was so scared so I called my doctor on a Saturday and had to explain that a woman with no medical background notice my son had swelling on the brain. I went to the doctor that monday and everything was fine and I was left feeling like a fool.

I know it seems like I'm complain and please don't get me wrong, I love being a mother. To know that I have the power to shape a human being is the greatest gift of all. I love being woken up to my son talking away in his bassinet. And everytime I get stressed and feel defeated, he shoots me one of those wonderful smiles that makes me feel like everything is A-OK!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

What to cook...

Today is a blah day. Not because the of the weather but because of me. Its 11 am and I'm already thinking about what I'm going to cook for dinner. I have chicken and Panko bread crumbs...hmmmm

Thai Fried Chicken it is....